As I mentioned in this previous post, my mother-in-law passed away last week due to an illness. She had been ill for a while so her death was expected.
During the cremation, at the other end of the vast hall, was another family. From where we were, I could see ten or so people mourning and could clearly hear the tragic and desperate cry of a woman.
After we said goodbye to my wife’s mother, we walked past the family.
The woman was of course still crying as we passed. Seated in a chair, she was hidden from view and being consoled by two other women, both with tears streaming down their cheeks. They were helping her deal with the immense pain.
But my niece happened to see the photograph of the deceased. It was of a junior high school girl.
A few days later, we heard from a friend of a friend (who knew about my mother-in-law’s funeral) that the girl had left for school as normal late in the week, had a brain hemorrhage, and never recovered. Three or four days later, her family were cremating her (and in Japan, that means using chopsticks to pick through the remaining bones as a family and placing them in the urn (if you’re emotionally strong enough)).
Think about that for a while – picking through the bones of your deceased child a few days after seeing them off to school.
My eyes fill with tears whenever I think about the girl’s mother. I don’t know her, I didn’t see her, and didn’t see the photograph of her daughter. But it still had (has) an immense effect on me.
As strange as it sounds with the recent deaths of my father and my mother-in-law, I now feel we were lucky. We had time to prepare. We saw it coming a few years ago.
Her mother, family, school friends, and teachers didn’t.
Is there anything more tragic?
Her cry will, I hope, live in my memory forever as a reminder. A reminder that, while there is no good to come from such an awful loss, we all experience tragedy in some form or another, and that the only way we can help each other is through compassion and understanding. Negative emotions towards others are a waste of precious, valuable time.
Today I visited a quiet park in Nagoya and photographed a few flowers, mostly tulips, something that I’ve never really done before. Maybe it’s a way of searching for a calmer, simpler life via nature in a busy city.
A life that for all of us could be taken away at any moment.
I truly hope that the family I saw that day find a way to overcome their terrible loss.
SeanBreslin.jp 
Leave a comment